Why Do We Postpone The Change?

What is the use of examining our life a few days after the end of the year? The goal is not to feel homesick. It is time to review if the life we ​​lead is what we set out to have. Some will be satisfied, yet others will feel a disconcerting emptiness even despite important achievements.

For those people who are dissatisfied with what has been achieved, be it due to a health, economic, family or relationship crisis. I invite you to ask yourself , what led you to that path? Do you have a clear vision of where you are going or what you want for yourself? This is the goal of designing a life project. It allows us to check if we are following the steps that will lead us to the goal we set for ourselves at the beginning of the year, of a stage or of a transformation.

For this it is necessary to be aware of who we are. What are the personal talents such as independence, creativity, patience among many that you have. Each person has a potential that has allowed them to achieve achievements . What is yours?

Some people with hindsight abandon a way of life that stopped working, and face a divorce, job loss, a delicate illness or the absence of a loved one who left in death. All these situations create anxiety because they take the person out of their comfort zone, it is easy to get used to people, situations or places if we do not generate changes in life.

For still other people, this year reminds them that they have endured an abusive relationship for a long time. And they will say: “I never wanted to live like this” “I no longer have options. ” It is important for those people who are in such relationships to know: To change something that is upsetting, it is necessary to know Who are you? What do you have? What skills do you have? In short, what are those qualities that give you value?

To order our lives, we must start by recognizing our value as a person since one of the factors that prevents us from taking the step forward is

The fear

At the beginning of a new year we immerse ourselves in the routine forgetting the goals set.   Some are excited in the gym to shed the weight gained by traditional Christmas meals, others visit the doctor after some momentary scare these days. But most of them leave the resolutions promised on December 31 in good intentions. And still, there are people who see no way out of their situation : unemployment, divorce, family abuse, terminal illnesses.

Each faces a difficulty that they must deal with. Some seek help from friends, religious leaders, lawyers, and others from psychologists. Some people prefer to see the problem in another person and not in themselves. Why? Because it would imply that they have responsibility in the situation they live and therefore, that they can change the position of victim, but fear paralyzes them to take action.

But what is fear?

It is an intensely unpleasant emotion, triggered by a perception of danger. This perception originates from a thought that can be based on real or fictitious situations. For example, the origin of fear is different from the person who believes that when they go outside they will become ill because they are exposed to bacteria, from a person whose husband constantly beats him and threatens to kill her.  The first fear is based on an idea product of fantasy, while the second situation is based on facts.

However, most people experience different types of fears :

• Fear of abandonment
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being alone
• Fear of being different

These fears originate from ideas or fantasies related to change. So such people focus on pleasing others, even though their actions cause intense discomfort. The unknown is feared. It is based on insecurity. However, it is necessary to distinguish the effects of fear in humans.

The positive aspect of fear is when it acts as an alarm mechanism in the face of imminent danger of physical harm, which allows us to escape or act according to our survival.

The negative side is one that generates anguish and is paralyzing. The most effective way to face fear lies in recognizing its existence, for which it is necessary that we observe what our behavior is in the face of different events and what we think at the moment of feeling anguish or fear.

Since fear rests on personal insecurity, it is necessary to inquire when facing a project to be carried out, an interview, or a situation in which decisions must be made. Being informed is key to decisions, Be realistic about performance, allow yourself to be wrong. Nobody is perfect. As much as it can cover the different possible scenarios, there will be situations in which the complete information that allows a correct decision is not obtained.

In the face of fear, it is normal for concerns and questions to arise. So you can weigh the pros and cons of the response options you have against the given event. Therefore, it is not the one who says that they do not feel fear or anxiety but the one who recognizes its existence and learns to handle it is brave.