When You Feel Nothing During A Depression

Each person experiences depression in a way. There are those who experience a mixture of sadness and anger combined with dejection. Others, on the other hand, only perceive a void and the total absence of emotions. It is like having lead in the body and fog in the mind, because when you feel nothing during a depression it is as if your own being is blurred to remain suspended in an absolute nothing …

Phillip Lopate, a well-known American essayist and writer, once described this very situation in a  startling poem called Numbness . In it, he drew a stark, millimeter portrait of that type of depression in which the person experiences a complete emotional void. It is, he said, like advancing through ice fields, it is indifference and a heart that beats at zero degrees, an anorexic illusion that displaces us from the world.

One thing we must understand about depression first is that few illnesses can become more complex and multifaceted. There are those who show a clear symptomatology, others in changes carry it with them invisibly for months or even years. It affects sleep, concentration, memory, movement, and even a person’s language skills.

Now, in the middle of this clinical picture there is an aspect that is not always talked about. It is that where the patient shows absolute insensitivity, where he says he does not feel any emotion, and only perceives a wall that has completely disconnected them from the world and even from themselves.

When you don’t feel anything during a depression: why is it?

When you do not feel anything during a depression, it is simply because you previously felt something excessively intense that you did not know how to handle. Thus, one aspect that the clinical literature indicates on this subject is that what many patients with this characteristic experience is a type of “emotional hangover”. It is the result of something that at one point completely surpassed them. What’s more, behind the depression itself there may also be other conditions, such as anxiety disorders or even unresolved trauma.

On the other hand, it should also be noted the classic idea that many hold about people with depression. This disorder is still exclusively associated with sadness. However, in a good part of the cases this reality presents other layers, another architecture. Because depression is not just sadness, it is pessimism, it is anger, it is dejection … And what also occurs is insensitivity, an emotional neutrality that is often mixed with other physical symptoms: migraines, muscle aches, digestive problems …

Patients with this profile are also characterized by hypersomnia, they can sleep between 10 and 15 hours a day. Also, as they declare, they feel unable to smile or cry. It is as if your mind, your body, has forgotten not only how to do it, but the very meaning of these emotional gestures. Something apparently so devastating has several explanations that we go on to detail below.

Repressed emotions

When you do not feel anything during a depression it is because perhaps, you were taught as a child that it is better to camouflage, hide, swallow what hurts, bothers or worries. In fact, it is common when, for example, we go through complex family moments, stressful work situations or moments of certain adversity.

These situations generate high anxiety, which gradually becomes chronic, until the person drifts into depression. Accustomed for months or years to not releasing, not handling or expressing concerns, fears or regrets, the brain itself ends up showing that “zero degree” on the scale of emotions. Something like this also makes up the classic mental fog, the one where it is not only difficult to react to our environment, but also reduces attention, concentration, memory …

Traumatic past

If we read the poem quoted at the beginning, the one by Phillip Lopate describing the callousness of his depression, we will find a really revealing part. The one where he talks about how his father called him “cold fish” since he was nine years old. The early criticisms of an authority figure to his shy behavior, making fun of his appearance and behavior were conditioned the way of perceiving himself.

Thus, something that has been seen frequently is how  the weight of a complex past or unresolved traumas, in turn, mediate the development of this type of depression characterized by emotional insensitivity.

What is the therapeutic strategy in these cases?

Our brain is an amazing organ. Now, in addition to being wonderful, sophisticated and crucial to ensure our evolutionary success, what characterizes it is also its complexity. Hence, at times, it is so challenging for us to make effective use of such a complicated organ to solve precisely those equally complex situations that life itself presents us with.

Something we must understand first is that no matter how much they repeat that the brain is like a computer, there is very little truth in this idea . We are not machines, and this sensational organ is basically governed by emotions. Understanding their processes, understanding how to handle them and putting them in our favor is the only way to get out of our own jail, out of depression.

In this way, something that psychologists recommend in these cases where you do not feel anything during a depression, is to start our sentences with an “I feel”. It is necessary to make an inner journey where layer by layer remove those embedded, trapped and infected emotions. It is necessary to explore the form of possible traumas, solve them and heal them … Therefore, therapies such as cognitive-behavioral can help us, without ruling out other treatments aimed at controlling and solving the anxiety disorders that these clinical pictures usually present.

The moment we begin to release our anger, our anger, our fears and our worries, we will be beginning the road to recovery.