Treasures, Those People With Whom You Can Be Vulnerable
Finding that person who gives you enough security to show you vulnerable is one of the most reliable indicators when a relationship works. This is assured by one of the most important investigations that has studied the relationships of couples. Although the investigation concluded in 2013, its findings have now been presented to the general public in the form of a book, ‘The Secrets of Enduring Love: How to Make Relationships Last.
This study revealed that what unites couples the most is the bond of trust; a place where they can behave as they really are, without the social, work or family pressures to which we are often subjected. That space with the partner in which to have the feeling of freedom when it comes to sharing, knowing that our partner accepts us despite our defects, is the key to lasting and enriching relationships.
All relationships go through various stages. However, whether we are in one or the other, having enough security to be vulnerable with our partner is a positive indication of the health of said relationship
Vulnerability is necessary for the growth of the relationship, for intimacy to appear and ties to be strengthened. Something that allows us to open ourselves to the other person and show more delicate parts of ourselves, for which we are strong and in which at the same time they can do us a lot of damage. We speak, for example, of letting the other appreciate how what they do affects us or of discovering the scars, those that today continue to condition us and that when they were formed closed a deep and painful wound.
When our partner transmits security to us
The search for security is one of our transversal and, at the same time, essential motivations. It is because it is a need that is never fulfilled, its fear causes us fear but also tingles in the stomach that are, at least, interesting. Leaving aside this curious paradox, we can say that the certainties in relationships are few.
Everything is more a matter of probability and in this sense, according to the study ‘The Secrets of Enduring Love: How to Make Relationships Last, tells us that a high level of security (trust) is one of the best indicators of happiness in life. couple. Interesting, right?
Love is precisely the best food for this trust. We already internalize this idea thanks to the care we receive from a young age: we trust the people who love us and, at the same time, we feel inclined to love those people who inspire us with confidence.
When our partner transmits trust to us, a state of well-being and security is produced in our brain in which stress hardly fits. At the same time, the bond of security that we form with our partner allows us to create a space to bring out our most personal side.
Why do we hide our most vulnerable side?
Hiding or protecting ourselves is a natural reaction when we feel in danger; on the other hand, the feeling of vulnerability can be a powerful loudspeaker for this feeling of danger or threat.
Many people use a mask for fear of showing some part of their privacy for which they think that in the future they may see to it, so that this attack causes them a lot of damage. However, in a relationship with a couple, this feeling has to find a balance with the need for intimacy and to enjoy it. Otherwise, it is impossible for trust to grow between the couple: trust is fueled precisely by trust.
Thus, one of the most complicated tasks that human beings have is to get to know ourselves. However, to the extent that we know ourselves and accept ourselves as we are, we will have less fear of that possible vulnerability, in which we will feel stronger than weak.
