To Do Or Not To Do, A Big Decision

Do I or do I not? Am I going or am I not going? Surely, these questions have ever approached you causing you a series of doubts that are not difficult to avoid, putting you between two or more options, feeling that you are at a crossroads.

Sometimes these doubts are totally normal. Faced with an important decision, doubts approach us because we are going to choose something that will undoubtedly change our lives and carries great responsibility.

But, sometimes, doubting so much implies that we underestimate ourselves, that we block ourselves when we have to make a decision, that we may be afraid of responsibility … Many things can be hidden behind doubt.

When you avoid making decisions

People who have so many doubts when they have to make a decision try to avoid making them, but is this possible? The truth is that if. When you have so many doubts, there are several options you can choose to avoid having to face the fear of making that decision. Among them is the most important: leaving this responsibility to others.

For someone who is scared to make decisions, the best thing to do is let others decide for him or “copy” what people he trusts, friends or family decide. This shows the insecurity that resides in them, something that makes them unable to make decisions. That is why they leave them in the hands of other people who they consider more suitable.

When we avoid making decisions, we can become two types of people that can complement each other perfectly:

• The indecisive person avoids making decisions and taking risks, that is why they do not leave their comfort zone. He is a very shy, distrustful person who isolates himself from others.
• The doubtful person doubts about everything and almost everything. This generates a state of anxiety for not knowing how to choose the correct option.

These two types of people, as we have mentioned, can complement each other. The state to which the person with these characteristics is subjected is fear and anxiety. When they have no choice but to make a decision, yes or yes, what it can generate is frustration and feelings of guilt for not having chosen the other option that they would consider “better”.

How to make decisions?

Insecure people, who find it difficult to make decisions, cannot live forever in this situation of fear and anxiety. A situation that marks their lives daily and that makes them act in the following ways:

• They avoid conflicts
• They avoid being the protagonists
• They do not tolerate negative feelings
• They avoid intimacy

There are many reasons behind this fear and avoidance: the fear of rejection itself, having been victims of criticism or humiliation, overly authoritarian parents, etc. In general, low self-esteem in most cases.

But, today is the day that we must get out of this and it can get out! But for this we must take risks, trust ourselves and know that we can be wrong, but that the decision we make will be the one we really wanted.

It is important that you involve your family or friends in making your decisions, but not so that they decide for you, but so that they give you their own point of view, whether they support you or not. It is not a matter of opposing them or paying attention to them, it is a matter of making them participate in your decision without interfering in it.

If you make the decision and you are wrong, nothing happens! You can choose another path, you can change what you have chosen. We all make mistakes and that is something you must assume and accept. Perfection does not exist.

Put a deadline on your decision, even if she already has it. Many times, it will generate anxiety to have to decide something so hastily, but it is important that you take your time, so do not leave it until the end!

A good decision will be any option you choose for sure, thinking things through, thinking about the future, what you want to achieve, something realistic, something you can achieve …  That decision will be good even when you see that you fail. Because you have chosen it with security, thinking about it well; If it doesn’t work, nothing happens, it will help you guide your way again.

Images courtesy of Surreal Photo Manipulations