The Crisis Of The 30s: How To Face It?

Vital crises are part of our life trajectory; we all go, at some point or another, through them. They are full of shadows, doubts, a feeling of emptiness and instability, sadness … Although each person experiences it in their own way, it is clear that these are not easy periods to go through. An example of these crises is the crisis of the 30s.

Concluding their twenties represents an important change for many : more responsibilities, unanswered questions (“Am I doing what I really want to do? Is the rice passing me by?”), Accumulated griefs, unprocessed experiences, job instability … These are some of the causes that can lead us to suffer a crisis of this type at these ages.

Although there is no single solution to walk this path in a healthy way, the truth is that there are some key ideas that can help us face this vital situation in a more serene way. We leave you 5 of these ideas!

Keys to face the crisis of 30

The crisis of 30 is lived subjectively by each person. Although not all people go through it, it is also true that it is an age of changes and vital approaches that can lead us to live it.

In the first place, we must lose our fear of it, naturalize it as much as possible. Everything you are feeling is fine; allow yourself to feel it. Now, it is important that we ask ourselves: what do I do with what I feel? Where do I want to go?

Normalize birthday

There are people who like to have a birthday and others who do not … Be that as it may, having a birthday is part of our existence, and it is the proof that we are alive. In the crisis of the 30s, negative thoughts associated with this fact may appear: “Is my rice going away? I’m getting older and I don’t know what I want in life, I’m not too young to do according to what things “, etc.

In these cases, we recommend that you begin to normalize the fact of having a birthday, of growing up, because each year is full of experiences with which to learn, and that take us precisely to the current state. Turning a year doesn’t just mean “getting older”; in fact, it is an opportunity to start doing things that perhaps before, we could not do. And above all, don’t feel bad about being bad. Assuming changes and losses is painful, and naturalizing the fact of growing does not imply invalidating your emotions.

Do you have to follow the rule?

In relation to the negative thoughts explained, it is common for the person at this age to start wondering if they like their life, if they are doing what they really want to do and, of course, if “I am doing what I should because of my age”. The reality is that, although social pressure often works against us, there is no written manual on what we should do and what not to do when we are 30, 40 or 50 years old.

Don’t you want children? Well, don’t have them. Don’t you want to start a family? You don’t have to. Another thing is that they are desired milestones and have not yet been reached … in these cases, we must relativize and try to understand what we really want and how we can get there, but trying to get away from what is “expected of us”.

Take the losses

As we get older, we must face more and more experiences, and that implies experiencing many losses. It is normal for losses to “accumulate”, in the sense that, the longer you live, the greater the probability of experiencing these situations.

Therefore, when a person suffers the crisis of 30, they may realize that there are duels that they have not yet faced and that are causing them unconscious pain. It is time to become aware, to look at the path traveled and see if we have any “pending tasks”. It is in these moments when we have to close stages, elaborate duels, say goodbye to people who will not return … If we do not, it is possible that the pain will turn and we will not be able to face the future with serenity.

Become aware of what you have experienced

In a society immersed in the maelstrom of rapid experiences, in which it seems to be more important to run forward, not stop and live without becoming aware of what we are living, than not processing disappointments, assuming what happens to us, etc. , It is normal that one day one wakes up with the crisis of 30. Why?

Because it seems that life has passed without realizing it, without us being part of it. In these cases, it will be important to stop, see the path traveled (which is not little), with its good and bad things and its lessons, and be grateful for having reached this point. Everything we have experienced has brought us, for better or for worse, to where we are. Be aware of it and forgive yourself also for your mistakes, those that you probably needed to make to move forward.

Practice gratitude

In relation to the last point mentioned, we know that being grateful for what we have experienced can bring us immersive well-being. This attitude opens us to life, allows us to accept experiences, integrate them as part of our history and assume that we are not perfect.

In addition, valuing things can help us to position ourselves and understand that we are not doing it wrong, that it is not written how we should live and that life is full of light and shadows. Being grateful for good things allows us to focus a little more on those lights, which have not stopped lighting our way even though we now have the feeling that we are immersed in darkness.

The first steps to face the crisis of the 30

Vital crises are part of the process of living, and therefore we must take them as natural. It will be important not to get stuck in them, and this often requires important personal work. Reflect on your life, on what you really want, and try to get away from stereotypes and social pressure and from what is “expected of you” for being 30 years old or whatever.

Remember that no one is going to live for you, and that your decisions are yours alone. If in any case, going through this process is causing you suffering and you do not know how to manage it, we recommend that you ask for help from a psychologist. A professional can accompany you in the process and help you understand what is happening to you and how you can face it to come out strong and resilient. Remember that this experience can end up becoming a very valuable experience for you.