The 7 Most Frequent Family Conflicts And How To Solve Them

The most frequent family conflicts have to do with situations or processes of change that cannot be assimilated. Likewise, they have to do with negative habits that take root and become behavior patterns that hinder or hinder dialogue and interpersonal relationships.

Beyond the reasons why the most frequent family conflicts arise, it is good not to lose sight that these also constitute an opportunity. The family is the basic social cell and the learning that derives from it is invaluable for other dimensions of life.

That there are contradictions, disagreements and disagreements is very normal. Every human relationship has something of this and the family is no exception. However, it is important to develop and practice strategies to manage these problems and to benefit  from the experience. The following are some of the most common family conflicts and also some clues to resolve them.

1. Derivatives of the life cycle

There are ages and moments in life when people are more likely to have conflictive relationships  with those around them. One of them is adolescence, a stage in which changes happen at an overwhelming speed. In this phase, conflict goes hand in hand with reaffirmation, and both are central themes all the time.

Something similar happens when you go from middle age  to old age. It is a transition that is not always easy and that involves many changes in a person’s life. Sometimes you react to it with irritability and discomfort.

In both cases, what is most needed from the family is understanding. Neither adolescents nor older adults will be right in many cases, but they do require people who are not pointing them out for that, or demanding a balance that they cannot achieve, at least momentarily.

2. Losses

Losses are one of the most frequent sources of family conflict. The death of a family member or a loved one has a very strong impact on their relatives. This usually generates anger  and frustration.

Losses of something significant, such as an important job, a business, an opportunity, etc. also play a role. You have to understand that no one can overcome this automatically and that you need time to process what happened.

3. Unresolved past problems

Family problems that are not resolved are also not simply left in the past. It is very common for them to turn into latent tensions or resentments, which end up escaping one way or another: hostility, bad mood, distrust, etc.

Although sometimes it is impossible to find a solution to a problem, at any given moment, it is not a good idea to just turn the page. The best thing to do is to reflect on what happened and find a suitable time to talk about it and make things clear.

4. Undefined roles

This is one of the most frequent family conflicts and it is given because there is no clear distinction regarding the role that each one must play within the social group. It occurs when parents end up asking their children for advice, or they are the ones who give the orders, or the responsibilities are wrongly assigned, etc.

As a social structure, the ideal is for a family to have well defined roles, particularly those of authority. Otherwise, the ties are most likely to flow amid a certain anarchy that leads to misunderstandings, injustices or confusion.

5. Illness, one of the most frequent family conflicts

The illness of one of the family members is a situation that can generate many conflicts. This occurs in particular when it is a catastrophic or chronic illness that involves the need for assistance.

These types of situations merit an open and honest dialogue. It is important to distribute tasks and assign responsibilities, as equitably as possible. In this way, quality care will be provided to the sick person and no one will be overstretched.

6. Uneven attention

The disparate care generates family conflicts because in many cases it becomes the basis of an unfair and discriminatory structure. A home is a home because each of the members has an indisputable place in that human group.

It is true that there will never be total equity, but there must be a firm will to be fair to everyone. Some members of the family will be bright and successful; others, not so much. Still, the foundation of family ties is love and acceptance. This should never be called into question.

7. Aggression and disrespect

Aggression is not only the root of the most frequent family conflicts, but of all kinds of conflicts. Abuse is unacceptable, at least in the life of a person who is interested in preserving mental health.

That there are moments of aggressiveness is perfectly normal. The problem appears when this becomes a pattern and becomes frequent. The result is often a chain of wounds and breaks that sometimes never heal.

For a family, and any human group, to function constructively, the border of disrespect must never be crossed. Doing this significantly impairs bonds and has profound emotional effects. It is difficult for a relationship to be the same again after a disrespectful act.

The most frequent family conflicts, and those that are not so frequent, can be resolved by increasing the capacity for dialogue. This includes active listening, assertiveness, and affection. Solving family problems enriches life and prepares for better relationships with all of society.