Self-esteem And Ego: 7 Differences

Some people may still believe that the concepts of self-esteem and ego are synonymous. Something totally understandable if we take into account that from a very young age we are taught to look for others rather than for ourselves. Even in adulthood, looking out for oneself can be branded as self-centered and selfish.

But what happens when we confuse self-esteem with ego? That we put the needs of others before our own, that we seek external approval and that we feel guilty when we want to say “no” but are forced to say “yes” so as not to appear selfish.

Now, the great consequence of this confusion is the disconnection with our needs, since we forget to listen to ourselves and therefore, value ourselves properly. For all this, today we are going to see 7 differences between self-esteem and ego.

1. Admiration for oneself

A person with a big ego has excessive admiration for himself. So much so that he develops narcissistic traits and observes the world from a distorted perspective. The big problem with this type of people is that they believe they are superior to others, that is, they consider that they are perfect and that everything they do as well.

However, a person with high self-esteem, although he values ​​himself, always does so from a realistic perspective. Thus, he is aware of his virtues but also of his defects and does not try to camouflage them to appear to be what he is not. On the contrary, he accepts them and if one causes him problems or difficulties, he tries to find a solution.

2. Caring for yourself and others

The difference between self-esteem and ego can be seen very clear in this second point. Someone with an ego will always care about himself, but never about others. You need to be the center of attention, catch all eyes. And if this doesn’t happen, if you feel ignored, one of your reactions is anger.

On the other hand, a person with self-esteem cares about himself, but also about everything else. That is why, unlike someone with an ego, he knows how to listen and does not seek to be the center of attention. A person with self-esteem knows very well what empathy means and has much more enriching relationships.

3. See beyond your own beliefs

When we deal with a person who has a large ego, the first thing we will notice is that he is not able to see beyond his beliefs. It will be impossible to expect him to question or reflect on them. He believes that his vision is the only true one and that generates many conflicts with others.

However, a person with high self-esteem is capable of looking beyond their point of view. He knows that his vision is not the only one and understands that other people have different perspectives, he may even become interested in them. Knowing how to listen, putting yourself in the shoes of the other and being able to acquire a new perspective of a situation causes the relationships you have to be healthy and profitable.

As we can see, a clear difference between self-esteem and ego is that the person with ego can never empathize or put himself in the shoes of others. For this it is necessary to have a strong and healthy self-esteem. In fact, someone with an ego is not really liked or respected. Only cover and hide what does not interest you. That is why it is so difficult for him to see beyond.

4. Difficulty accepting criticism

A person with a large dose of ego will not bear receiving a single criticism that goes against the exaggerated and distorted image they have of themselves. Since you have hidden your flaws under that mask of grandiosity, any sign indicating to reveal them will cause you to become defensive, angry, and blame others.

On the other hand, those who have a healthy self-esteem will be able to recognize their defects and receive criticism that helps them improve. The latter will not be taken as a negative, but will even be grateful for it. Now, as long as they are constructive criticism.

5. Expect to receive something in return

We have seen that a person with a lot of ego always thinks of himself. Therefore, if you ever seek help from others or approach them expressing some kind of interest, it is because there is something that can benefit you. If nothing positive is going to come out, the person with ego will not count on others.

Someone with healthy self-esteem does not act this way. Well, he does not use others to achieve his ends, but thanks to others he knows that he can grow. Someone with self-esteem never moves out of interest.

6. The hierarchy between people

Another of the great differences between self-esteem and ego is that those who have ego think that they are above others. You can think of this either because you consider that you are superior in strength, intelligence or beauty, among other things. In addition, he believes that the world revolves around him.

However, a person with good self-esteem knows that no one person is superior to another, only that they are different. Therefore, they do not usually make comparisons.

7. To give, we must first give ourselves

The last of the differences between self-esteem and ego that we are going to discuss refers to that belief of meeting the needs of others first. However, we cannot give what we do not have.

Thus, those who have a large dose of ego cannot love healthily and cannot meet the needs of others if they have not met their own beforehand. For this reason, his life passes after constant attempts to pretend, camouflage, believe himself to be the best …

This does not happen with those people who have a healthy self-esteem. They respect themselves, accept, value and love themselves. Therefore, they are capable of having very enriching relationships. They are not selfish, they are learning what they need and then giving it to others.

All of us, on occasion, have fallen into the clutches of the ego. Identifying it instead of denying it and looking at it head on will allow us to realize that perhaps it hides self-esteem problems.

Do we not believe ourselves enough? What makes us feel insecure? Why do we want others to pay attention to us? Let’s reflect. You cannot have ego and high self-esteem at the same time.