Keys To Learning To Listen

Listening is a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened, in fact it is necessary to do so, especially if we want to interact authentically with others. Who does not like to be listened to with attention and interest?

Now, one of our biggest flaws is that we tend to spend more time talking than listening. The problem is that we do not realize the effects this can have on our relationships with others.

Thus, really listening, with attention, is a virtue that allows us to capture what reaches us, analyze the information received, make decisions and give an opinion. It is a fundamental process for establishing good communication and enriching our relationships.

Listening is attending and empathizing

In today’s world, it is essential to have a certain degree of communication skills, capacities that do not only involve talking, but mainly knowing how to listen to those around us. But something that seems so simple, for many it is not so simple.

Listening is an ability that, in general, involves establishing a connection with another person and paying real attention to the information that is being shared; that is, listening implies empathizing. For this reason, it is a skill that requires time, practice, and dedication.

5 keys to learning to listen

The psychologist Daniel Goleman identified knowing how to listen as one of the main skills in people with high levels of emotional intelligence. So it is key to managing relationships with others.

Thus, if you want to develop the art of learning to listen actively, beyond what words count, you can take note of the following keys:

Try to avoid distractions

We are constantly exposed to multiple sources of distraction, from external noise such as the sounds of our digital devices to internal noise such as our thoughts in the form of worries.

To listen correctly it is important to avoid all kinds of distractions and focus our attention on what the other person is transmitting to us. That is, it is about focusing on the here and now, in the present moment, on what we are doing.

Ask open questions

An open question invites the other person to argue their story ; since it prompts her to respond with something more than a monosyllable.

These questions can create a space for a more extensive response, in addition to communicating that you empathize with the other and that you are interested in everything that they tell us.

It is better not to interrupt

If you find it difficult to avoid interrupting the conversation and introduce new topics, you have to pay attention, since if you are only worried about talking about yourself, the other person takes a back seat. Therefore, he will perceive that he is not interested in you.

Thus, it is important to learn to listen with attention and empathy, trying not to lurk to cut the thread of the conversation. Only in this way is it transmitted to the other that you care about what he is saying to you.

Knowing how to respect the turn to speak, but above all, paying  attention to what they tell us is key to communicating and avoiding being participants in monologues.

Practice active listening

At times, it can be paradoxical that the lack of communication and isolation that many people experience today is largely due to inadequate listening; also, that there is the belief that listening is an automatic process.

Active listening essentially involves:

• Pay attention to the interlocutor.
• Make an effort to get your message.
• Demonstrate ability to decipher it accurately.

Active listening, in terms of definition, refers to the ability to listen not only to the person who is speaking, but also to decipher the feelings, ideas and thoughts that underlie what he is saying.

Put aside prejudices

It is important to be aware that when we have a person in front of us, he or she is not exempt from receiving a judgment and an opinion from us, regardless of the issue to be discussed.

The fact of making value judgments of the interlocutor can cause that the attention towards the speech is clearly affected. Hence, it is important to try not to judge the other or at least avoid entering a negative dynamic of prejudice and criticism.

As we can see, knowing how to listen defines us as people and says a lot about us. It is a show of interest and concern for the other, as well as being a true act of generosity.