I Never Wasted Time, I Always Breathed Every Second

I have never wasted my time. To all of us at some point in our lives, someone has told us that we have wasted time, but that someone rarely argues their judgment. I never wasted time, I always breathed every second. Another very different thing is that it seems to happen something slower sometimes or multiply its speed without my knowing that it was an unrepeatable shot.

They say that we must take advantage of time and not waste it, but I long for the times when time was not a precious capital but simply existing, of which nobody seemed to know much. Those times in the hands continued to run, but their passage did not awaken us anguish.

If scientists look for the beginning of time to find the origin of the universe, I would like to know the origin of the paralyzing and stressful obsession with  taking advantage of time, even if they hate what they are using it for. Because they don’t live it, they “use” it in something that gives them productivity.

That sometimes time passes without realizing it, breathing

It seems to me that the less we are aware of time, the lighter we feel. I long for the bored times, I long for the times when I could be doing anything without thinking about the myriad of important things that I am not doing or, worse still, thinking.

I no longer wonder so often if I waste my time or not, I win it by breathing every second without wondering if I used it correctly. It gives me peace, although I do not know if it is profitable. I do not regret that I was not much better at one time, one day, one night. I no longer blame myself for wasting my time.

That wasting time should be reconceptualized, don’t you think? Nobody grants it to us, nobody grants it to us on a fixed term. We do not have to explain to anyone what we do with it. While for some losing it is everything that is not dedicated to achieving a goal, for others it is achieving that living is everything that makes us lose the feeling of being “wasting it”. Those who do not time their lives based on objectives, but who live with the objective of not feeling timed, must be left calmer.

Take the times that some call wasted

Who and why tell us that we are “wasting our time”? Who dictates what is a vital gain or loss? Are there judges for it? Are there zeros added to the mortgage, numbers of children and total net time to do it? Are there answers that free you from the tightrope? What is the opinion of the years used? They should at least explain to us what the arguments and their empirical basis are, to guide us.

The times that some call lost are the ones that helped me the most. What joy and what envy for some of those who are never troubled, those who are never frightened. However, some have a need for times that disturb them, frighten them or simply break them.

They are the ones who multiplied the minutes and the stories when the “profit times” came. I need to know what it’s like to waste time on my own. What for some is wasting your life in unnecessary chapters, for me they turned out to be the necessary parts of a novel, which when re-read in various vital sections acquires different meanings and with a constructive incoherence.

That nobody dares

Let no one dare to judge a stage in your life, a period of depression or anxiety, a relationship that seemed to be damaging from every angle. It was your time and if you lost it it is because you, at that time, did not know how to win it in another way. You were living, you were learning to be wrong. What better learning than that?

You needed those mistakes not to make them again in the future because they would have been perhaps more damaging and irreversible for your well-being. There are no wasted times, there are teachings not very well learned or emotionally digested.

It is not about wasting time or not, but about knowing that in one way or another nobody taught us that we have to heal experiences without feeling strange, without believing that we lose what we were, without daring to move to another new stage in the one that we can take advantage of what we lost in the previous ones. Be the time, be another concept. Nothing is lost if it is learned our way.