How To Know If We Are Silent More Than Necessary

It is not easy at all to know when we should speak and when we should be silent. It could be said that identifying a suitable moment for one and the other is an art. “He who talks a lot, errs a lot ” says popular wisdom and it is true. Talking too much exposes us to excesses with negative consequences. However, not talking sometimes also leads to the same thing. How to know, then, if we are silent more than necessary?

Silence is a highly valued asset because it allows you to pause to think , weigh, and modulate your speech. It is also a necessary condition for listening and conducive to reflection. However, when we remain silent more than necessary it is also possible that we are contributing to misunderstandings or perpetuating undesirable situations.

Silence must be a decision, an act of prudence, a not always valued form of courage. In some people, being of few words is a character trait. Despite this, they can also be very clear when to speak and when not to. When we are silent for other reasons, such as fear , confusion, or bewilderment, we may be keeping quiet more than necessary. How do you know? Here are some keys that can help us.

We keep quiet more than necessary if we generate conflicts

If silence lends itself to generating misunderstandings , it can be said that we are more silent than necessary. Let’s see this with an example. One person is upset with another because he found out that he had told a lie. Instead of confronting the situation and complaining about this behavior, he rather decides to keep quiet. However, he begins to show hostile attitudes towards that person by whom he feels offended. Also create a barrier and distance yourself.

In this case, it is most likely that the offended person has a certain resentment for the lie of which he was a victim. And the offended person will never have the opportunity to explain his reasons or acknowledge his mistakes. In such circumstances,  silence does not solve anything, but creates an invisible wall that prevents solving a problem.

Allow an injustice

Silence in the face of injustice is indolence or cowardice. In that case the saying that says: ” He who is silent, grants ” applies . It means that silence is a way to approve or legitimize an abuse. That is a clear example that we are silent more than necessary.

It is not easy to raise your voice to prevent something unfair from happening, especially if the perpetrator of an abuse is someone with power, as is often the case. But,  not to mention, that is one of those silences that can burn a lifetime. Speaking on time is as important as keeping quiet when necessary. Thus, injustice must not find accomplices in silence.

Silence due to insecurity or shyness is not appropriate

Sometimes life leads us to build armor to protect ourselves. Perhaps we have gone through experiences in which we have felt attacked or violated and that leads to us closing ourselves off within ourselves due to a certain latent fear. This condition often encourages us to adopt a lifestyle in which we remain silent more than necessary.

We may have a lot to say or contribute, but we decided to keep it to ourselves because we don’t value it enough. We are afraid of being judged or questioned, although we are aware that we have a valuable idea, or an important initiative. In those cases, our protection from the world becomes a prison that does not let us fly.

Love should not be silent

It can be said that we are more silent than necessary when we do not openly express the affection we feel for others. Love must always be expressed out loud. It is not worth keeping sweet and affectionate words for ourselves: whoever receives them will never think they were left over. In fact, the affection that is expressed is one of the most beautiful gifts that we can give to another person.

Every being loved is a loan that makes us life. Sooner or later the link will end. Either because distance is imposed, because ties are broken or because of death. Therefore, each moment with those people we love is precious and there will  never be enough words that are a sample for the other of how important it is in our lives.

Words create and destroy, but so do silences. Hence, it is important to cultivate that art of knowing when to speak and when to be silent. If we learn it, we will surely be more consistent, accurate and assertive.