Be Yourself And The Right People Will Come Into Your Life

Be authentic, dreamy, kind, instantly stubborn and even possess a point of madness that makes you unique. Be yourself, defend your identity in every moment of your life, although many do not like your quirks, your opinions or your hobbies. Keep your essence and the right people will arrive when you least expect them.

This idea, which at first glance seems logical, understandable and expected to all of us, is one of the main reasons why a person visits a psychologist. The symptoms are almost always the same: mental exhaustion, extreme physical fatigue, and the feeling that one has lost one’s way, that one has been diluted between the priorities of others, the pressures of the environment and the sound of a world with which no longer is identified.

When we stop being ourselves to be what others expect, we lose the most beautiful part of our being: our own identity. Even more, when we put aside what makes us unique to become a “standard” person, caring and manageable who adjusts to everything, we allow people to enter our lives who we really want away.

Little by little and without our realizing it, our days take on a gray hue, where there is neither the brightness that inspires nor the spontaneity that cheers and motivates. Thus, it is our responsibility to  discover and defend our own light, what makes us different, what makes us unrepeatable beings for a world that we are substitutable.

Being the same in a world of equal people

William Ury, co-founder of the Harvard University Negotiation Program, is one of the leading experts on communication issues. Many of his works are invaluable contributions to the field of personal growth. In them he also describes some psychological processes with which to learn to be happier in these complex and highly demanding personal, social and professional environments.

In the book “Getting to Yes with Yourself” by Dr. Ury he explains that the biggest problem that people have when it comes to communicating, reaching agreements or even establishing meaningful personal relationships it’s that we don’t believe in ourselves. When you feel insecure, you put on masks, wear armor, and wear lead feet. .

Being yourself, in a society that strives to create equal people, is not easy. The school strives to teach children to think alike and to combine skills in the same hierarchy. On the other hand, many companies also prefer compliant workers who do not defy the organization’s policy. It is not easy to be unique when the indicators mark the same path and destination for everyone. 

Despite all this,  we are obliged to make an effort, to fight and to defend what we are: unrepeatable people. Being true to oneself can cost us to be misunderstood, to be the lonely child in the back rows or that contested employee who protests everything and who insists on imprinting a personal tinge on his work. It is complicated, we know, however to be able to.

Keys to being yourself and attracting the people you love

Before influencing or creating an impact on others to attract whoever interests us, it is necessary to establish a first influence or a strong bond with ourselves. That confidence in oneself is what will open the doors for us. We explain how to do it.

• Put yourself in your shoes. It is very possible that you are used to putting yourself in the shoes of others, but … how long has it been since you have been in contact with your needs, emotions and internal realities? Today is a good day to start.

• Make a commitment to yourself. Start a plan to reach firm agreements: “NO” to do, say or demonstrate something that I do not want or do not think. “YES” to be myself, “yes” to act without fear.

• Embrace your present. It is very possible that the version of yourself from the past does not like too much, that it makes you uncomfortable. Never mind. Your opportunity opens in the “here and now”, so impose yourself, act, create, transform and leave the imprint of your identity in everything you do.

Last but not least, always remember the famous motto of “being and letting be”. Authentic and unique people value and love themselves, but in turn also let others be and respect their personal universes. Being ourselves, in this society where that basic principle is not always respected, is difficult; we know them, however it is worth practicing.

So let’s learn to defend our identity, to safely show the joy, magic and originality that we all carry inside. Only then will we open the doors to those people, to those things and opportunities that will bring us true happiness.

Images courtesy of Clara Mcallister