How To Survive The Well Of Despair
Loneliness, isolation, fear, frustration, and pain dwell in the well of despair. It is the last stop before reaching the station of suicidal thinking, where the train of the mind can sometimes lead.
Inside the well, nothing matters. There is no place for others: friend or foe. You, with your fears and insecurities, have been gradually delving into its depths. Your mind does not see the way out of there, it finds in that dark place the only solution to its problems.
How does a person immersed in the well of despair behave?
Those who are immersed in this situation do not allow people to help them. As much as the people around them try to comfort them, they resist it. They believe that they are a burden to others or that they cannot do anything to help them.
They feel as if they have missed the line of salvation or help. They may even look at their loved ones and give them a fake or shy smile to keep them from worrying. They are completely stunned, shocked, and confused.
The well does not allow any beam of light to enter. It is the place where the person is, apparently, in the most absolute nothingness. Failure and disappointment have driven him to the depths and brought him face to face with depression. His reasoning skills are impaired, he becomes inflexible, he is blinded.
How to get out of the well of despair?
Acceptance
First of all, accept your negative emotions. Look at them head-on, welcome them, and hear their message. They are there for a reason. They are showing you the wounds that you never healed, they are screaming at you the needs that you never heard. They are the last resort of your interior to force you to take care of yourself, to love yourself, to prioritize yourself.
If the pain is now strong it is because when it was weak it received no response. Take care of it. Face all the painful experiences you have experienced. The abandonment, rejection, shame, guilt. They are part of your history and it is necessary to integrate them and give them their rightful place.
It is necessary to understand that the pain is not you, it is a temporary and fleeting situation. Remember that it will end, that there is a way out if you decide to cross the road. That at the end of it you will find yourself.
Change mental habits
Start loving yourself above all things. Surely you have been forgetting yourself for years, leaving you last. You are the most important person in your life and the one who needs you the most. Make the decision to start taking care of your body and mind. Nurture yourself each day with positive thoughts and force yourself to be grateful for what you do have.
Gratitude brings abundance and the habit of thinking positive brings us closer to looking at life with another perspective. Surely now you will not find reasons, but look for them. Get your brain used to looking for possibilities and not problems. The pattern of thoughts is a habit, it can be modified with constant work.
If we get used to living in the dark, our mind gets used to looking for it. Learn to recognize it quickly, begin to feel comfortable there. It is a vicious cycle that only you can stop with your effort.
Changing the focus of your attention will be difficult at first, forced and unrealistic. However, it is necessary to look for different ways of interpreting reality. It is essential to develop the ability to perceive the good, to immerse yourself in it and to seek more of the same.
Seek help
Ask for help. To your closest ones and qualified professionals. Doing so does not make you weak but rather brave. You don’t have to be perfect or have the answers to everything, lean on those around you and allow yourself to receive the support and resources you need.
Don’t underestimate the healing power of people, of friendship, of human contact. Having a supportive social network protects us from stress and helps us cope with pain. Surround yourself with people with whom you feel good and be open to share with them. Isolation is the worst enemy when our interior cries out for help.
