And You, Do You Get Carried Away By The Autopilot?
“Go with the autopilot on” is a fairly common expression. It is that way that the brain has to save money, to save energy. Habits have settled inside us and we no longer make great efforts to worry about some basic things: going to and from work, driving, taking the subway… sometimes we come home and surprise ourselves. But how have I done it?
We are so immersed, so immersed in ourselves that we spend much of the day “ritualizing” acts and customs. And in a way, we understand it… driving, riding a bike, taking the train without getting lost, are actions that we no longer doubt because we have been doing them for a long, long time, and the brain simply automates them.
But what happens when we do the same with our own lives, with our relationships? What happens when we get up and go to bed doing the same things, without rethinking anything, without looking beyond our own shell?
Life is what happens while you do something else
You have surely heard this expression numerous times. What’s more, you may even have told yourself once with that indefinable feeling of “vital anguish.” If we do a bit of self-analysis and even if we look towards today’s society, it is almost a common refrain in the poem of our lives.
We live with the autopilot on. And the worst thing about this is that our mind feels enslaved and usually escapes from this routine, to fixate on something very different from what we actually do; in that life that escapes while we do things that do not make us happy.
It is in those moments when the existential emptiness emerges … We lack something, we miss that spontaneity and that novelty that enriches the human being so much … we accept routines well and let ourselves be carried away, but sometimes, we are very far from finding a true balance emotional.
Another fact to keep in mind is that putting on the automatic pilot can also take us away from those things that are truly important. A job that absorbs us, for example, can make us leave behind our loved ones.
There is also a type of personalities that turn on “their automatic pilot” on purpose, because they establish themselves a type of norms, routines and beliefs in which they put others aside. They are automata of their own world. But this is another type of more problematic profile, those whose maximum ability is to make others unhappy.
Autopilot and affective relationships
Another very common risk of this phenomenon is the one that we often establish in our personal relationships, with our partners. Sometimes, we think that we have everything done and achieved with the person we love and that we should no longer strive for anything. We put on automatic pilot and we dedicate ourselves to ritualizing our life with that couple.
We put aside improvisation, displays of affection, efforts … it is as if it is no longer necessary to take care of that person who has freely chosen to be by our side and ultimately, of that relationship. It is a very high risk. We should never take anything for granted.
Guidelines, rituals, and autopilots are those tinted glasses that keep us from seeing the beauty of life. Stop for a moment, breathe, listen, smile … around you you have incredible things to attend to and discover. Do not miss it.
