People Who Respond Like Sheldon
Series, movies or novels usually offer caricatured characters, since somehow the scriptwriters seek consistency in the profile they intend to draw rather than inconsistency or contradictions. Big Bang Theory, one of the most successful series in recent years, is a good example of this way of writing.
In it we can see several endearing characters -Leonard, Sheldon, Rash, Howard, Penny, etc.- who with their way of seeing the world delight the viewer. They achieve this thanks to the fact that in some way they have an obligation to relate, since what unites them is stronger than what separates them.
One of the most beloved characters is Sheldon. Behind this young man, with a pale complexion and a child’s face, hides a sincere, rational, selfish and egotistical way of interpreting the world. A way of thinking and behaving that, although it is very difficult for us to fully recognize someone in our environment, it is not so difficult for us to identify in a specific situation.
In many of the chapters of the series we can appreciate how the characters have to make important decisions when relevant events happen to them. For example, in one of the last ones, one of Sheldon’s friends tells him that he is going to be a father.
Of course, as on many other occasions, Sheldon’s reaction is consistent and without loss: instead of congratulating his friend, he expresses his sadness because he understands that such responsibility will make his friend spend less time with the group.
People who are still your point of reference
It may seem something unreal to us, but surely in your environment you meet several people who find it very difficult to stop seeing the world from their perspective. People to whom when you break news, like Sheldon, the first thing they think about is how it will affect them.
They may not express it as openly as our beloved character, but you notice it under the layer of makeup and dissimulation. They can congratulate you, but on their face you can see an expression of sorrow that they will give way with words as soon as they can.
People who are very clumsy at listening because they have to make a great effort to get out of themselves. To divert their attention from the problems that affect them to think about those that affect others. For them it is not easy to get closer to the thread that the other is laying for them and to hook it in some way with their own, abstracting for a few moments from themselves.
In addition, it is difficult for them not because they do not interest them, but because they try to give you an answer to what you ask them from the perspective of what they would do in your place. The problem is that it is not them, it is you, with your illusions, fears, expectations, burdens or problems.
In addition, as it happens to Sheldon (leaving aside the syndrome that is wanted to represent) , they are people who try to save their emotional disability from the cognitive ability. Their overt response is not natural, but rather a synthesis between how they feel and the response they are capable of giving to “what should I feel or express at this moment?” . Thus, they do not get one thing or the other and their gestures are so hesitant that they disconcert the interlocutor.
Can we help people who respond like Sheldon?
Yes, of course we can give you a hand. In the first place, understanding that there is no evil in their way of thinking and that they care about us even though it is difficult for them to feel what we feel. They may never have had a real friend or partner, it may be that because they have done it before they have been hurt a lot or simply that their emotional threshold is very high.
Their ideas may not be of much use to us, or their consolation may seem more of a grief, but if we really want to help them out, the best thing we can do is continue to communicate emotionally even though sometimes it gives us the feeling that we are facing a kind of wall. If we take them by the hand and help them to deepen ourselves, the possibility of that connection emerging will be much easier.
If we have followed the series, we will realize that Sheldon is very similar to the Sheldon of the beginning but also very different. He has not lost his identity, but thanks to the more emotional characters, like Penny, his way of relating to emotions has come a long way.
Sheldon was starting from a very low point, because he was not even capable of experiencing emotions. The people around us probably do know them, if only from their point of reference. They are capable of feeling emotion and they know what emotions are: they know that fear is fear, that joy is joy or that sadness is sadness. Even if it’s from your point of reference …
