There Are Days When We Can Handle Everything And Days When Everything Can Handle Us

There are days when everything can handle us and moments when nothing can resist us. Is there something wrong with it? Is it a problem to experience those ups and downs in the mood, those ups and downs in the universe of motivation? Of course not. People are not machines, infallible androids in everyday purposes. We are human beings with better days and less good times.

Now, the point is that on average, we manage quite badly those times when discouragement overtakes us and oxidizes performance. There are times when the mind says “come on, make an effort, you have things to do” and not only does the body not accompany, but there is a part of our brain that responds that of “I’m sorry, today there are no reserves for enthusiasm, desire or motivation ».

This lack of energy is not always due to a health problem, discouragement has its own relief and composition that when it sets in and traps us, it costs a lot to get rid of it. It is a complex mix of psychological processes and emotions. In it there are thoughts, physical sensations, worries and various types of emotions (apathy, sadness, frustration …).

Those “down” days are by no means a reflection that we are suffering from any disorder; it is not a depression. However, the most appropriate thing is to ensure that these states do not extend over time. As they come, they must leave, be temporary visitors, the kind that leave us their message and later leave us to make way for better moments. Let’s dig a little deeper.

What happens to us in those days when everything can do us?

It may be curious, but the experts in motivation psychology point out something striking: the ups and downs enrich us as human beings. Going through those times when one is capable of taking over the world and soon, the days arise when everything can do us, they can give us the opportunity to teach us various things. The first, that we are not infallible and that hitting rock bottom from time to time is normal.

On the other hand, knowing why we are falling apart and what is behind our discouragement allows us to get to know ourselves better. However, there is a problem and it is that we do not like these “lows” and we defend ourselves against them like someone who gets rid of something uncomfortable that they prefer to keep away. We camouflage the discomfort without understanding it, without knowing how to manage those hidden realities that so often extinguish our desire to eat the world.

Thus, and almost without realizing it, these problems become encyst and the brain enters a cycle of constant ups and downs in which it is very easy to lead to helplessness, in that camouflaged form of depression that is dysthymia. We must be careful.

The days when everything can be done should be very punctual in time and not something recurrent. These are moments when there is no other option but the obvious one: talking to ourselves and promoting emotional self-care.

Why do I feel this way? What is behind the discouragement?

On the days when everything can handle us and life itself weighs heavily on us, what we feel is discouragement. And when this state catches us, we use a thousand strategies to avoid it: we sleep, we walk, we watch series, we listen to music, we meet someone, we play sports … All these strategies are a way of masking our discomfort. We hide it and we don’t solve it.

It is essential in all cases that we are able to connect with the origin and trigger of that state of mind. On average, after those days when everything surpasses us, there are usually the following realities:

• The social comparison. According to a work carried out at Harvard University by Dr. Tod Rogers, people tend to compare our performance, what we do, what we achieve or have with our closest environment. Doing so, looking at what some have achieved and feeling at a disadvantage at times, fuels discouragement and something else: low self-esteem.

• Tendency to see the negative side of things. Although we do not realize it, sometimes, we go around the world with the glasses of negativity, those that only glimpse the difficulties, the problems, the mistakes made and the uncertainties. It is an obvious mode of suffering.
• Listen excessively to the critical and perfectionist self. Many of us have a highly harmful and dangerous inner self. It is the one that feeds an internal dialogue based on self-criticism, in the search for absolute perfectionism, that in which mistakes have no place.
• Neglected emotions and needs. Taking care of our emotions is an act of psychological hygiene. However, we are skilled experts in the opposite: in hiding what hurts, in concealing what frustrates, what angers, what disappoints. All those dimensions create scab and suffering. Something that we certainly cannot leave for tomorrow.

What can I do in those days when everything can do us?

The days when everything can not be avoided, they are not solved by going out to see a movie or bingeing on food. These are not the proper behaviors. We must not avoid, we must face, accept those days of downturn and allow ourselves to reel off what is in them and what we must solve.

• We will attend to our thoughts and concerns. Nor is it about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones; that strategy doesn’t work. What we must do is give them presence and reason, understand if they are logical, if they have a basis and what I can do to alleviate those concerns.

• We will connect with our emotions, with those sensations that our body experiences: anger, sadness, fear … Practices such as relaxation or meditation can help us.
• Onboard plan. In those days when everything can be done to us, it is good to give ourselves time, relax, connect with ourselves calmly. Also, after deciphering what worries us and what is the reason why we are like this, it is appropriate to create a plan, some short-term goals. We will set goals that motivate us and that are simple to achieve to raise the feeling of control, the ability to achieve and enthusiasm.

To conclude, we all have the full right to have our good days and our not so good moments. You learn from everything and from each experience we must come out stronger. Let us therefore learn not to fear those days of discouragement, they are those inflections in the timeline that must be assumed, faced and understood. Let’s keep it in mind.