Learn To Resolve The 7 Most Common Types Of Conflict

Resolving habitual conflicts is one of the skills that can avoid the most headaches. Wherever there are two human beings, there is at least one conflict. This is not because people are mean or have the intention of creating problems. It simply occurs because two people never think exactly the same.

Healthy relationships are not those that are devoid of conflict. The point is not to avoid contradictions, but to know how to resolve them. There is the true secret of good coexistence. And it’s not that difficult, if you put your mind to it. It is enough to have the will, patience, understanding capacity and be willing not to get stuck in the differences, so that you do not ruminate on them.

Thus, to authors and experts on the subject such as Muzafer Sherif points out that we must face these situations with temperance and realism. Understanding the factors that orchestrate it can facilitate us great learning for future moments.

Some conflicts are more frequent than others. Let us therefore take an inventory of those common problems that are worth learning to solve in order to have a calmer life and healthier and more fluid relationships.

1. Resolve conflicts due to misunderstandings or misperceptions

Misunderstandings one of the most common types of conflict. They occur when there is a failure in communication. Those involved do not have all the information about something, or they have misrepresented information, or they interpret it in a wrong way. This gives rise to cautions, annoyances or grudges.

To resolve these types of situations, the best thing is frank and direct dialogue. If you notice that someone is suddenly hostile and you don’t know why, it is best to ask them directly. And the same goes for the opposite case. If you have an annoyance, it is best to express it openly and respectfully. Many big problems are avoided with assertive communication.

Thus, studies carried out from social psychology such as that of Dr. Morton Deusth, from Columbia University point out something interesting. Society has come a long way on the issue of conflict resolution. One element that has helped us to do this is undoubtedly understanding emotional processes much better.

2. For a lack of agreement that is not addressed

Sometimes the hostility between two people is constant and insidious. It may be that one criticizes the other for everything he does or says. Or it may be that she is always unhappy or upset. So they both have the perception that there is constant discomfort.

Most likely, in these cases there is a substantive conflict that has not been recognized. And that big problem translates into small daily and constant frictions. If you want to solve a situation like this, the first thing is to identify what is behind everything. Then, it is necessary to face that difficulty with the other without forgetting sincerity and respect.

3. Due to conflicting interests

This is what is commonly called a “conflict of interest.” It occurs when the needs of one person are opposed to the needs of another. For example, when a chore needs to be done and potential managers want to rest, rather than do it.

In those cases, the problem can only be solved by fair negotiation. This means that both must give in. But also that both must make a profit. It is not so difficult to achieve it if those involved accept that “a bad settlement is better than a good lawsuit.”

4. For different values ​​or beliefs

These types of conflicts are also in the group of the most common. In reality, they do not appear because two people think differently. They only become a problem when one or both of them try to impose their beliefs on the other and / or disqualify what they think.

Usually this occurs with religious or political beliefs. In both cases there is usually a desire to proselytize, that is, an interest in “recruiting” the other for one’s own side or group. To resolve this type of conflict, it is enough to admit that respect for the free conscience of the other is a guarantee that others also respect what I think.

5. Resolve conflicts by proxy

Power is a source of permanent conflict. Whoever owns it is the focus of all kinds of criticism, some well-intentioned and others not. Whoever does not have it receives its effects and often feels that it is being negatively affected by it. In the framework of power there is always tension.

To resolve power conflicts, the most appropriate thing to do is to propose mechanisms that make it horizontal. This means, generating spaces to listen and attend to those who do not have it. This is true not only for those who exercise large quotas of power, but also for those who exercise power in the family, school, work, etc.

6. Due to intrapersonal difficulties

Intrapersonal difficulties refer to conflicts that take place in the mind of an individual. This means that there is actually no external problem. It is the person who sees it that way. It happens when, for example, someone anxious does not tolerate others doing something slowly.

Those around a person affected by an intrapersonal conflict should kindly make him realize the situation. Most of the time they are not aware of it. Sometimes it’s just about making him see that there is no conflict. If done calmly and respectfully, it will probably have a great effect.

7. Due to incompatibility of characters

It’s the kind of conflict where, quite simply, “there is no chemistry.” For one reason or another, it is difficult for one person to accept another. It is a kind of generic antipathy that does not obey something in particular. In these cases, you may be tempted to express that tension through continued rejection gestures.

While it is true that not everyone has to “like us”, it is also true that we have no right to reject someone for being who they are. Perhaps the traits of that other are complementary to ours and we do not notice it. Perhaps we should simply take a safe distance and treat each other with the consideration they deserve.

Conflicts, in general, can always be resolved through assertive communication. This does not mean an underhanded or falsely polite communication. Rather, it is about addressing the problem directly, calmly and respecting the other. If you know how to communicate properly, before you resolve conflicts, you will surely be able to prevent them.