Fear Will Never Go Away As You Grow Up

The statement fear will never go away can cause our heart to start beating faster and that we notice a certain degree of anxiety. It is something natural or, rather, understandable. The society in which we have grown up has taught us to escape fear and not face it. But, above all, it has educated us to prevent it even when we do not know if it is going to manifest itself or not.

This emotion that we usually label as “bad” is always with us. As much as we want and try to avoid it, it is impossible to do without it, since it has a vital function for our survival. Thanks to fear, we become alert to face a problem.

Millennia ago, this was a great help if we were faced with real danger. Today, we lead very quiet lives, and our fears have changed. But they have done it in such a way that they are no longer adaptive. That is, they rarely appear in a situation in which we are truly at risk.

Is our life in real danger when we have to expose something in public? Are we going to die if our partner abandons us? The fears that arise in these situations are maladaptive. They are not real fears. We are not at risk. Therefore, this emotion then stops helping us and begins to limit us.

Our fears have changed, but there is something that remains the same. They always urge us to action, not to stand still and to change course. Yet today, we allow fear to paralyze us. That, millennia ago, would have led to our death.

Changes allow us to grow

Fear will never disappear because there will always be changes in our life, whether they are wanted or not. For example, when we try to open our own company, we will fear that we will not be successful, that we will not get results, that we will fail, or that others will laugh at our mistakes. But this is good because whatever happens we will be progressing and growing.

The big problem comes when we take refuge behind fear and do not want to face it. It is then when we stay in our comfort zone, without risking and daring to do anything that does not provide us with security. This, over time, will cause us to feel stuck, lacking in goals. We assume what can happen, although we don’t really know if it will. Preoccupied with these thoughts, we sit still, doing nothing, while the hours, days and years go by.

The comfort zone, let’s face it, is very safe and very comfortable. But at the same time, it is extremely disabling. So much so that, if it were a garden, nothing would grow in it. The reason we find it so tempting is because it has the power to make us feel good and bad at the same time. In it we are safe and calm. However, at the same time, we feel as if we are wasting hours and missing many opportunities.

People who panic about change tend to envy those who do take risks and constantly step out of their comfort zone. Something inside her then screams “do something!” or “you also have dreams and wishes, carry them out!” For a moment, they may feel a bit of a push and fantasize about taking action. But when they want to realize it, they continue to sit and do nothing.

Using fear to our advantage

Even if we try to run away, fear will never go away. There will always be a situation that surprises us and that completely disrupts our routine. This is when our comfort zone will be shaken; and this is an opportunity to make a decision. Since fear will never go away, what better advantage than to use it to our advantage?

To achieve this, we are going to give two little tips. Although they seem easy, in the moment of truth we do not usually put them into practice. However, if we want to end these limiting fears, using them the moment they appear can give us a different result than we are used to.

• If fear limits you, don’t think, act.  When this emotion limits you, for example, to speak in public, you need to stop ruminating on it. Your mind is very powerful. Block those thoughts and just act without thinking. Once you do, you will realize how fear goes away.
• Use fear as a source of improvement.  If something scares you, use that emotion to push yourself to achieve it. If you are afraid to start your own company, use fear to try to train yourself more and move in search of opportunities that make you feel safe. For example, talking to people who can help you, getting partners …

Fear is never going to go away, therefore we better take it as an ally. Even in the most difficult moments, this emotion can come in handy to change course and realize that there are multiple options. Remember that if we move forward and grow, fear will be there. However, we can start using it not to stop, but to keep going.