I Am Not Faithful To You, I Am Faithful To What I Feel About You

Have you ever wondered what fidelity consists of? For each one of us it is certain that it is different, however, true fidelity stands out for its purity and depth.

We use the phenomenon of fidelity a lot in couple relationships, since it is an issue that always comes up due to the great importance we attach to it. It is understood that fidelity is  one of the fundamental values ​​in the couple and the pillar that sustains the relationship.

When two people agree to their commitment to have to be faithful to each other, they are doing it as a duty. As if it were something that you can choose, or as if you had to make an effort to achieve it. It is the way we have to bond, to tie ourselves, to sustain a relationship. Through imposition, through the promise of being together. Without taking into account that love is above all that, it is something that flows and that we cannot imprison.

Being faithful in a relationship where love exists implies that  there is no sacrifice, nor the repression of the desire to want to be with another person. This trend does not occur as long as love is maintained.

Faithfulness as an obligation

There are many masked fears behind the conception of fidelity ; sometimes mistaking it for possession. Being faithful is used in relationships as a double-edged sword, a commitment that goes beyond love and respect. By hiding in morality and correctness, people try to ensure the love of the other person.

When from the beginning being with the other person and remaining faithful to him is an effort, something may be wrong. If we think about what we may be missing or not enjoying with other people, an alarm goes off that tells us that our love is not strong enough. In this situation, you do not have enough dedication for there to be a fusion with the other person and the satisfaction of not needing anyone else. Perhaps it is time to ask ourselves if we are forcing ourselves to be faithful or it comes naturally to us.

Be true to our feelings

The feeling of love in the couple has the great power of making us only want to be with one person, that we only feel captivated and maddened by them. That there is no other at that time that may interest us. Thus, a fidelity that does not pass through culture or morality, but rather through feeling, respect and coherence towards oneself, will not be an obligation.

Being true to what we feel is spontaneous. It is deeply rooted in the feeling of love. Being faithful to something more pure, not keeping fidelity to the very person we want to be with, but to the feeling that person awakens in us. So it will not matter if she is available to me or not, since love can even go beyond having to be reciprocated. 

True fidelity has nothing to do with possession or obligation, it has nothing to do with the fear that that person may be with another.

Final reflection

The existence of infidelity serves as an indicator to verify that love is not involved, that it has been relegated, and no matter how much you fight for it to exist again, the energy that moves it is not controllable.

As long as the feeling remains, I will be true to what I feel, because it is inevitable. My energy does not move me to anyone other than her, because all my thoughts, desires, and my attention are focused on the person I love. This feeling flows alone, without pressure, without obligation. Nothing and no one tells me who I should be faithful to, yet I know. Possession does not exist, as does permanence.

Real fidelity is internal and not external. A verbal contract that states that we will not be unfaithful is colored by possession, not freedom. Fidelity, in this case, is imposed, not free. The need to retain the other person by our side colors the relationship of attachment, of need, of dependence … All of them, harmful emotions. When we flow with the other person, when we feel that we are walking on the same path, fidelity is not spoken, it is not imposed, it arises alone.