When I Am Myself, Everything Is Much Better

Yes. When I am myself, everything is much better. Surely you have also had that intuition. That feeling that problems begin to come out ahead, either because you solve them or accept them, because you are being more YOU than ever. Also because you have taken control of your life, you have the impression that the deliveries of bad luck are less heavy, and those of good luck are more profitable and intense.

But what is being yourself? Why this direct relationship between being oneself and that “things are better” or that we feel like it? Well… first we would have to talk about everyone.

When we have to climb a step to relate to others because the relationship at the same height terrifies us; when we hide our true feelings or ideas because we fear that they will not take us seriously or hurt us; when we confine ourselves in a role because we think that outside of it we will never be good enough …

When I am not “myself” I generate flawed relationships

There are so many examples of how we sabotage ourselves, of how we lose our essence in each of these movements, of how we move away from that being “ourselves” … All these movements end up having precisely the harmful effect that we tried to avoid a priori.

Walking away from yourself damages relationships. It turns them into untrue relationships, where fear prevails over surrender, satisfying the other than satisfying oneself by expressing itself as it is. To the extent that we move away from our essence, the events of our life will be affected, precisely because they bear the stamp of how we face them.

Relationships with others will become vitiated and create dynamics that are difficult to eliminate. For example, the person who always seeks to please the other and is not able to refuse to do something for fear of “losing the other”, will end up having relationships in which the other will always “get away with it”, and this will frustrate him. . Perhaps you make the other person to blame for your frustration. He’s a tyrant! I always end up doing what he wants!

The Pieces of the Puzzle: Relationships Fit When You’re Authentic

This dynamic totally removed from one’s true needs, will end up establishing itself in the rest of the relationships that it maintains with its environment. You will slowly move away from your “self”, as you will begin to hold others responsible for your weakness and your inability to say no when it is “No” and yes when it is “Yes” …

Getting away from ourselves means getting away from others. For this reason, when one is oneself, everything is much better. It seems that the pieces are repositioned in the correct position and managed to fit together. We are not forcing pieces into each other. We are not trying again and again to satisfy the other in order to “survive” in the jungle of relationships.

We identify and listen to our true needs. Not everything goes. Self-love is a cardinal element in this new way of relating to others. As long as I can love and respect myself, I will not have to desperately seek the approval of the other.

Seeking the approval of the other at all costs will end up hurting us more

When I don’t desperately seek this approval, I feel more responsible for my emotions, since they no longer depend on whether the other gives us the “go-ahead” or not to what we think or feel. I will feel more powerful as I depend on myself to take care of myself, so I have much more power to regulate my emotional well-being.

When I am myself, others can know me better and relationships will become more transparent, natural, and will not be forced to unsuspected limits. The pieces of the puzzle stop straining. They are instinctively placed and manage to square with each other with ease and harmony.

Being clear about our limits is essential to undertake the complicated task of being yourself. A good path to achieve this is the one that passes through honesty, with ourselves and with others. If my limits are not very defined there will be people who will cross them. They will transfer them because we are allowing them to take that step, no matter how much later we keep the letter of holding them responsible.

Being yourself in relationships of friendship, work, family … is an endless rest. A peace appears that cannot be found from any step or from anywhere far from us, from our desires and even from our fears. Without a doubt, when we are ourselves, without those disabling defenses, one learns to relate in a healthier way. Being yourself is, therefore, gaining health. A health that allows us to have better relationships with others and therefore an internal peace that will soothe and calm us from within.