Loving Oneself Has No Schedule, No Date On The Calendar

Formerly it was common to find marriages with a significant age difference. Particularly from very old men, with very young women. Said marriages, in most cases, obeyed not only the values ​​of the time, but also agreements arranged between the families of each of the contracting parties. In many cases, the aim was to improve the social and economic condition of those who were getting married. Loving each other came with time.

However, nowadays it is common to find couples where the age difference is not only great, but it is held indiscriminately by both men and women. Although it is still more common for the man to be the oldest, the percentage of couples in which the woman is older is increasing.

Despite the fact that society in general has more elements of analysis, freedom and rights than before, it is striking that this type of relationship is observed with a prejudiced attitude. Apprehension is less in the case of an older man with a younger woman and much more noticeable in the case of an older woman with a younger man.

Studies on loving each other at different ages

Some studies affirm that the ideal age difference in a couple is five years, so that the relationship becomes stable. Couples who, on the contrary, are widening this difference, predict failure and this increases as the age distance increases.

Other studies, carried out by groups of researchers that include psychologists, assure that couples where there is a significant age difference are the result of trying to fill gaps related to deficiencies during childhood. They indicate that at the base there are unresolved conflicts, which have to do with the father or mother figure according to the type of partner. From that perspective, loving each other as a couple in this case is really impossible.

In one way or another, unresolved conflicts come into play in all relationships. In any case, the union of two people, whatever their age, is more due to a need for stability in their lives. This stability has to do with the complementary in the other, in terms of emotional maturity, social prestige, economic stability or simply, the desire to love each other in an unconventional way.

The future of these types of relationships

What future can a relationship have where the ages are very different? Can they really love each other? If we are based on the statistics of most studies, a relationship of this nature has no future.

Research affirms that the probability of reaching at least two years of duration is less than 20%. It is worth clarifying that these studies are biased, since they obey minority groups of specific cultures and therefore cannot be generalized.

In these same statistics, it is stated that couples who manage to love each other deeply and surpass the five-year barrier have a high probability of continuing together for a long time. Therefore, using this information to consider it as a reference may be valid, but it must be remembered that it is not a law.

Unfortunately, it will be more difficult for these couples to learn to cope with and digest the rejection they generate in some sectors of society. This hostility is mainly due to preconceptions, to which in some cases the same family of one of the members of the couple does not even escape. But this aspect, rather than weakening the relationship, can strengthen it, since the difficulty fuels the zeal on many occasions.

The important thing in any relationship

When two people fall in love, it does not matter how old they are or their origin. What is really important is the love that you have. What counts is mutual respect, trust, good communication, empathy with the other, sincerity, knowing how to share and that each one feels good with their partner and their lifestyle.

In any type of relationship, the two of you must do your part to make it work. And while it is true that in many cases it is necessary to make concessions, individual freedom should never be lost. It is not good policy to try to modify some aspect of the other’s personality.

In the end, what matters is how good you feel about each other in these kinds of relationships. If they really manage to love and accept themselves as they are, they will. The rest goes to a secondary level. In this sense, it is the couple who determines the degree of understanding and happiness they want to achieve, what level of maturity and independence they have and how much mutual support they provide.

It cannot be ignored that the advantages of loving each other, with or without age difference, are many. The concept of “maturity” has a lot of myth. Each one of us is inhabited by a child and an old man, from the moment we are born. More than age, what sustains love is understanding and the ability to complement each other. If the two members of the couple are different, they can learn a lot from each other.