Secondary Gains From Anxiety

Secondary gains of anxiety are called the benefits that this state generates. How does anxiety generate benefits? Strange as it may seem, it is. If we give place inside us to an unpleasant sensation and we maintain it, it is because it gives us something. In an insane way, but it brings it to us. If not, it would be easier for us to find or find a way to get rid of that torment.

The fact that there are secondary gains from anxiety does not mean that these gains are, on balance, positive for us. It simply means that sometimes people take unhealthy ways to adapt to reality. Usually we are not aware of it. Even so, we managed to accommodate ourselves and, in one way or another, take advantage of that situation.

Perhaps this can be better understood with an example. Suppose a person is homeless. So he decides to build a makeshift tent in a lonely field. If you continue there, you may find a way to incorporate certain “amenities” into your living space.

Maybe you can get cardboard to better cover yourself from the cold and you can even start “furnishing” the place; In addition, due to the place it occupies, it does not have to pay taxes or rent. You haven’t solved your basic real housing problem , but you still take advantage of the situation as you can. It is the same that occurs with the secondary gains of anxiety.

The main secondary gains of anxiety

It is clear that anxiety is a state that generates suffering. The reasonable thing then would be to search and find a way to overcome it. However, the human being is not reason alone. There are a number of unconscious factors , which are presented as irrational, and which lead to persisting even in emotional pain. The person does not seek to experience constant anxiety, but once installed there, things begin to happen that were not foreseen.

For example, it is very common for the anxious person to receive special attention from those around him. They may consider you “nervous” or overly sensitive, or something like that. Therefore, without meaning to, you actually get the benefit of increased attention , and perhaps consideration, from others. This inadvertently reinforces the negative state you are in. This is how the secondary gains of anxiety operate.

The greatest attention from others is not the only thing you get. Anxiety could also become a pretext for not facing the world and forming a bubble of protection. Also to explain a multitude of behaviors of negligence, abandonment or laziness. Likewise, to justify nonsense, lack of responsibility and childishness. “It’s just that I’m very anxious and that’s why I can’t …”.

Avoid fears and achieve what you want

Anxiety may become a way to get exactly what you want. This state serves as a shield for not deciding to face real fears that all human beings have to face at some point. Fears such as being alone, facing rejection, saying “no”, looking for and finding work to fend for ourselves, etc. We all experience some anxiety when facing such situations. The appropriate thing is to find the way to defeat it.

It is not the only way that the secondary gains of anxiety are present to achieve what one wants. As we noted before, the attention of others, the possibility of settling in a comfort zone that no one questions, the option of justifying our false starts, etc., constitute a golden bridge to avoid assuming certain responsibilities.

It is important to insist that this is not done on purpose. Those who suffer from anxiety really suffer and do not consciously plan plans to take advantage of that situation. All of this occurs unconsciously and is also sustained unconsciously, because it ultimately brings benefits.

The problem is that one manages to organize a whole life project around anxiety, refusing to grow and depriving oneself of many positive experiences. Like the man who has nowhere to live and ends up living forever in a precarious place. Therefore, the way out is not to accept that anxiety is already an inseparable part of ourselves. On the contrary, that state can be overcome. If it is not achieved by oneself, then it is pertinent to seek the help of a professional.