Promote Autonomy In Children

The dependence of a child on his parents is absolute. They need our care, our attention, affection, guidance, and teaching. It is a nutritious and magical process at all levels, where our responsibility is full time, and where in turn, we are obliged to always give the best of ourselves so that children run free, happy and competent in their autonomy.

Jean Piaget said with great success that the way we teach our children will make them gain dependence or independence. Let’s think about it, sometimes, in our eagerness to protect and guide, we end up giving the world insecure people, men and women who still do not dare to think and decide for themselves. Promoting autonomy requires a pedagogical craft where to guide without harassing, where to give opportunities and also responsibilities.

Therefore, it is very common for parents to hear that ‘they want their children to be autonomous and determined’. But on the other hand, there are also many excessively protective parental guidelines towards children. However, it is essential for proper development that parents foster autonomy in their children.

What do we understand by educating in autonomy?

When we talk about the education of children, we cannot expect the same degree of autonomy in all evolutionary stages, since the requirement must be in accordance with the child’s cognitive moment. Also, something that parents should understand is that each child will undoubtedly have their own needs.

Falling into the high demands can cause the little ones to derive in states of emotional stress. Something like this generates not only frustrating situations for both parties. With this, we can make children suffer from self-esteem problems. We must take it into account. So let’s see what kinds of responsibilities we can expect from them based on their age.

Between a year and a half and three years

At this stage, work can begin in motor autonomy, such as walking and moving without help. Likewise, it is also key to begin to lay the foundations of language and communication, demanding that they begin to ask for what is necessary (water, pee …).

From three to five years

During this period, language develops enormously, and from there we will promote autonomous behavior patterns so that the child is able to communicate his wishes and needs to people outside the family environment.

At another level, you may begin to be required to eat alone, sleep alone, put on simple clothes, and acquire basic hygiene guidelines. Also, it is time to perform small tasks such as picking up their toys.

Between the ages of five and eight

It is the moment in which the responsibility begins to turn in more scholastic aspects and of social relations. The autonomy achieved in the habits of food, sleep and hygiene and personal care is consolidated.

In addition, autonomy is being demanded when it comes to playing and considering their free time, doing homework. At home, you can extend basic household tasks: preparing your room, helping to set and clear the table.

On the other hand, in this stage contained between 7 and 8 years, the little ones give a maturational change on a social and emotional level that we must attend to. They will begin to be demanding, to ask for time to play with their friends, to go out, etc. It is essential that to promote their autonomy they understand that it is necessary to show responsibility. This is something that must be demonstrated and earned over time.

From eight years to adolescence

In this period, the child begins to know himself, his abilities and mistakes and begins to anticipate consequences. It is time to start education in full responsibility for homework, leisure time planning and housework.

Guidelines to promote autonomy in children

Although it is sometimes an exhausting task, it is necessary to find guidelines that allow the child to be independent and responsible. Basically we can raise these:

• Realistic goals : as we have already seen, each age has one, presents a series of tasks in which autonomy can be requested, but also each child has its own conditions.
• Perseverance : in any task related to the education of children, it is necessary to be constant in what you are asking them to do.
• Tasks as a game : especially in the early ages, it is necessary to encourage more than to impose and the game can be one of the best tools.

• Create routines : especially for independence in the habits of food, sleep and hygiene, it is necessary that the routine is present to give the child security in what he should do.
• Reflection on successes and errors : as the child grows, the importance of communication also grows.
• Emotional support : helping them overcome their fears, recover from their frustrations when something does not go well, and praise them when they do, is essential.
• Be your best role model. Let’s think about it, we cannot demand certain behaviors from our little ones if we don’t comply with them first. Let us therefore be your best example and inspiration on a day-to-day basis.

In sum, autonomy is an important aspect of the personality that must be fostered for the child to develop properly.