7 Tips To Cope With Affective Loss

The affective dimension has to do with the positive approach or disposition towards something or someone. It is a state of empathy that involves the universe of emotions. Existence imposes stages of suffering , as is the case of affective losses, which can only be overcome through grief. Here we will give you some recommendations that will help you overcome these painful experiences.

Let’s start by clarifying that grief involves a process in which emotions are balanced after an emotional loss. This grieving process takes place in a context marked by pain, denial, sadness, confusion, anger and guilt.

This, later, gives way to resignation and reconstruction. A well-resolved duel will strengthen us in the face of other adversities and give us experience that allows us to lead a happier and healthier life.

When you are going through an affective loss, your emotions are more intense and deep. Affective losses can be diverse: the death of a family member or a very close person, the break with your partner, the appearance of a catastrophic illness such as cancer, the loss of a job and even retirement, are some examples.

General aspects of affective loss

An important aspect that you should bear in mind is that the more surprising the emotional loss is, the more difficult it will be to overcome the grief. Let’s see this with an example. A close friend falls ill and his condition becomes more and more complicated. Its gradual deterioration is evident and finally it dies. This news would not surprise us. On the other hand, if we talked with the same friend yesterday and today we find out that he passed away, the impact is greater and more difficult to overcome.

During the process of overcoming the affective loss , self-destructive behaviors can arise , such as a reaction to the pain that is experienced. These behaviors can be associated with excesses and obsessive thoughts.

In general, this is due to the fact that we did not become aware of the degree of dependence we had on someone, and when the loss occurs that part of us dies with the other person. So, we feel helpless.

Usually when people go through a stage of grief, they experience a lack of interest in the things they used to enjoy. In some cases, they overindulge in the consumption of food, medicine or alcohol as a resource to distance themselves from the pain, but with this they only worsen the situation.

4 key tips for dealing with emotional loss

These are the 4 basic recommendations to face an affective loss. These are actions that are positive to prevent the grief from taking a wrong turn. They are elements that you must apply to get ahead.

• The process of a duel takes time, the wounds will heal gradually and it is something that cannot be rushed. The duel must be assumed, sooner or later. And the worst decision to make is to take shortcuts to lessen the pain, or to try to ignore it.
• In the event that the grief is due to an emotional loss due to the death of someone close, it is not positive to hide the grief and avoid talking about the deceased. Contrary to popular belief, talking about the missing person brings relief. It also helps in the healthy evolution of grief.

• When the pain seems to get worse and flare up, you may feel like hurting yourself or even have suicidal thoughts. In this case, it is best to share your thoughts with someone you trust or seek therapeutic help.
• There is no right or wrong way to get through a duel. This process is carried out in stages and does not have a specific development time. It will depend on each person and the type and intensity of the loss. There may even be times when you think you can’t handle it, but you can. If not, remember times in the past when you had that same feeling.

3 additional tips

In addition to the above recommendations, there are other aspects that are important to successfully cope with an affective loss. They have to do, above all, with the management of emotions and subjective perceptions.

• It is important to express emotions, this frees us and alleviates the burden we carry. That is why you should not repress the desire to cry, to discharge the physical energy accumulated as a result of frustration. Sometimes it is enough to talk to someone. Over time the feeling will be less painful.
• When the pain is excruciating and you remain stuck at that point, it is best to seek professional help. This will provide you with the support and knowledge necessary to advance your loss process. In some cases additional complications arise, such as the appearance of diseases as a result of the somatization of the conflict.

• As unfair as it may seem, life goes on. It is a practically natural imposition to continue with your life and try not to abandon your studies or work, caring for your pet, or playing sports. Try not to run away from your emotions and try to do the things that you would normally do. But above all, don’t feel guilty about feeling good.

The end of something is the beginning of something else. Behind suffering may hide greater well-being. We may not see it at first and have to wait a bit to see it. Affective loss is a time of crisis in which we can find our true inner strength. Suffering can be transformed into security and confidence to continue risking existing and loving.

Images courtesy of Ricor, Three Sisters