5 Ways To Know If You Are A Selfish Person And How To Fix It
Human beings are programmed to look out for ourselves. However, there is a big difference between looking out for oneself and being selfish or leaving without value what others may feel in the face of our actions. In the end, it is true that everyone is responsible for their feelings, but it is no less true that there are also many ways to mistreat or sabotage them.
Thinking of yourself is not incompatible with generosity, disinterested behavior or solidarity. In fact, in the society we live in today, it is possible to reap many benefits by being altruistic and generous. Benefits that are also intrinsic, so that they will maintain our motivation.
Living thinking that you have to be selfish because people or society are selfish creates enormous insecurity, as if the only possible way out was to step over others. However, opting for a more generous life, more interested in others and less individualistic is the best way to attract opportunities.
How to know if you are a selfish person
Human beings are selfish by nature, since selfishness arose out of a need for survival. However, compassion was also born for the same reason. After all, human beings, as a species, probably would not have survived without our ability to form societies.
In this sense, it is necessary to redefine egoism or, at least, make an interpretation of what is socially acceptable or unacceptable in order to find a balance between our particular interests and those of the society in which we live.
Are you having trouble understanding the benefits of being generous?
Actually, thinking about the good of all or the good of others is also a somewhat selfish action, since, at least in theory, what is good for the group or for the other also benefits the individual. What’s more, just doing something good for others already has benefits for those who do it.
A selfish person is unable to see the benefits of giving in to others or sharing their time, knowledge, or resources. Selfish people think that only what benefits them is really benefit or, but still, that a small but own benefit is better than a large one if it is shared.
Do you get nervous when you are not in control?
Being able to maintain control is a positive thing, but what happens when someone else has control? What happens when you depend on others? Are you able to positively assume that the responsibility belongs to someone else, that you must respect their decision and submit to it?
For a selfish person the contributions and needs of others are less important or valuable than their own, even those that have to do with decisions that affect the other in the first place.
Selfish people need to control everything, both what affects them directly and indirectly. This anxiety for control makes them overly critical of others and keeps them turning mentally to anything that may involve sharing responsibility or losing some control.
Do you have trouble working in a group?
Collaboration requires the ability to listen, make commitments, and accept the opinions and proposals of others. This is closely related to the obsession with loss of control that we mentioned in the previous point. In this sense, the inability to work in a team could indicate a problem of selfishness.
In the current situation, collaborative intelligence or collective intelligence is essential for anyone who moves in a social environment. This is why collaboration is so important in everything from learning to business expansion.
The diversity of thought patterns does not matter. We are witnessing everything that people can achieve if we work together, if each one contributes what they can and puts it at the service of others so that others continue to explore and expand knowledge. A selfish person is not capable of seeing this, since he thinks that what others gain is something that he loses, when in reality we all win.
Is it hard for you to take the blame?
Avoiding blame is a standardized excuse to justify something that has not gone well. However, more important than debugging is problem solving. Behind a person who is not capable of assuming his share of responsibility there is probably a selfish person who only knows how to think about avoiding retaliation or bad looks.
However, taking responsibility is actually very liberating, just as it is accepting a mistake made by others without judging or humiliating you for it. Accepting responsibility without bearing the burden of guilt is a great act of generosity towards oneself, a generosity that is extended to others when necessary.
Do you feel like it’s never enough and you want more and more?
For a person who is not happy with what they already have, their main concern will always be to have more and more, so the needs of other people will take a back seat. A person who does not appreciate what he has will feel unfortunate and poor and will not be able to see the value of some things that, although insignificant, are what he really needs.
Behind someone superficial and materialistic there is usually a selfish person, who only cares about his own material needs and who, therefore, despises and / or ignores the needs of others, including spiritual ones.
